Embracing Grief & Running Your Business

Today, I want to share a deeply personal experience with you. One that has broken my heart wide-open. It has shifted my perspective of myself, my life, and even my coaching business.

On March 14th 2024, my father passed away. He was 88 years old and had suffered for years from Parkinson’s Disease. Over the last fifteen years, after my mother's decline with Alzheimers and subsequent passing, my father and I were blessed to have finally established a loving and mutually respectful relationship with each other. I knew I would feel his absence after his transition.

During the three days prior to his passing, I was logically able to make immediate decisions as to how I would navigate (what I thought would be) the week ahead. As a business owner with standing client coaching appointments, speaking engagements, and multiple projects that needed my attention, I felt it was going to be literally impossible to completely unplug for any greater length of time. So, in my anticipating the week that would follow, I gave myself permission to accomplish the bare minimum in business and removed all unnecessary tasks and meetings from my calendar.

I greatly underestimated the time and space I really needed for my journey ahead.

I could have never anticipated the surge of deep emotions that would literally consume me in the days and weeks that followed. I found myself unconsolable. I felt completely lost. Parentless. Suspended. I suddenly didn't know who I was anymore, or how to move forward… with anything. At the speed of light, I suddenly felt so empty that I doubted that I would ever find my way back to myself, again. My heart ached so deeply I felt like I would never recover from the grief and sadness that I was feeling. Tears flowed steadily - not for days - but for weeks beyond my “anticipated down time”. I was not able to function in my life with any degree of normalcy. In spite of my life being filled with an outpouring of love from my family, friends, clients and community I felt as if my life no longer made any sense. I felt upside down… inside out… untethered. I completely lost my sense of self in the depths of grief and despair. I did not know who I even was anymore, and it felt like everything that "I thought I was” was dying.

At a deep soul level, my heart knew this experience of loss was transforming me in ways that were powerful and profound, but I could not see where it was all taking me. The only thing I knew I had to do was the only thing I could do, which was surrender entirely to the process. There was no accelerating it. There was no denying it. I had no control over anything. I had never felt this intensity of emotion in my life.

I knew I would never be the same.

Now that some time that has passed, I can share that this has been the most profound personal growth journey of my life. Today, I stand as a significantly stronger, more clear, more grounded version of myself. What is now almost two months later, after having detached nearly completely from my business, new opportunities have arrived and old worn-out ideas of what I “thought” I wanted or who I "thought" I was have fallen away. I do indeed feel reborn, after what I know has been a right of passage... a "dark night of the soul" experience... for which I am deeply grateful.

More than ever, intentionally maintaining AUTHENTICITY, SIMPLICITY, EASE and BALANCE in all aspects of my life has become deeply valued. While there is so much more to share about the incredible journey of self-discovery, compassion, and surrender that I have been on… it will need to be a story for another time. However, at minimum, I do want to I share some practical things that greatly helped me navigate my grief while still running my business.

SURRENDERING TO YOUR GRIEF

Unplug and nurture yourself

I surrendered to my need for simplicity and space... which is a radically different pace than I have been operating from for the the whole of my career. During this time, I made a decision to do the bare minimum in my business and remove all unnecessary tasks and meetings. I gave myself permission to grieve, to feel the pain, and to honor my emotions. It eventually became essential for me to fully unplug from my business and prioritize self-care with no other commitments for about two weeks. Being in nature, meditating, sleeping, eating what my body was craving and engaging in any activity that brought me peace helped me make it through the roughest patches.

Connect with others 

Grief can be isolating, and for anyone who knows me well... I am exceptionally great at isolating.  But for the first time in my life, I leaned into my closest relationships with full transparency, vulnerability... and I was  deeply grateful that I was not alone. I engaged in grief counseling which was imperative for me to feel supported and understood. Sharing my thoughts and feelings with my family and some of my closest friends also greatly helped me to lighten my heavy heart and provided me with great comfort and peace.

Honor your own unique process

I discovered that grieving is an intensely personal journey, Everyone’s process is dynamically different and there's absolutely no right or wrong way to walk through it. I honored my personal process and did not compare it to anyone else's. I really embraced the truth that it was  “okay for me to not be okay” in whatever way that looked or felt. 

RE-ENGAGING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOUR BUSINESS

As I have been slowly reengaging with my day-to-day flow of life and my coaching business, I've found three strategies very helpful in navigating my transition:

Start Small

I literally added back into my day one task at a time, one day at a time, focusing on my most essential priorities first. I am happy to say that I been able to gradually increase my  workload as I’ve felt more focused and more grounded back into my business. I’m not 100% of the way there yet... but I am getting there. 

Seek Peace and Inspiration

Peace and inspiration has never been more important to me than it is right now. I still need to feel that I am operating peacefully throughout my day. I have minimized my time with people, media and messaging that I am not resonating with right now.  I have stayed close to my favorite influencers, authors, and teachers who serve as sources of inspiration to me.  They have helped me to reignite my passion for my business and my day-to-day life.

Delegate and Collaborate

I have been fearless in asking for help - something quite new for me, by the way. I’ve leaned heavily on my supportive business relationships; my assistant, my business partners, and my own coach and mentors. I’ve delegated as much as possible and therefore deleted a number of things off of my own to-do list because I am still really needing to balance my energy and my time. I notice that at any point of the day I will - very out of the blue -  just “be done” ... and there is no getting that energy back, at which time I will give myself permission to just pack up and head home. Delegating tasks and collaborating with others has greatly helped me lighten my workload and is allowing me to continue to focus on healing.

Grief is a journey, and it takes time to heal. Be gentle with yourself, and remember that it's okay to not have all the answers. I hope that sharing my experience will help you feel less alone in your own journey and able to still navigate the responsibilities and demands we have as small business owners.